so I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past month.. not in a bad way but in a good positive way. I have come to the realization that I am one person that has been blessed way beyond any means.. looking back over my life the past few years I've had my share of ups and downs. I've had my share of heartaches that no one could ever imagine and I would never wish it on anyone. The pain of thinking you'll never have that "special someone" in your life, or you'll never have a family. I remember walking out of church when my pastor would preach about finding that spacial someone, or preaching a service about mothers. I remember crying myself to sleep, or crying until I just simply couldn't cry anymore. I learned to deal with the pain of seeing "couples" together walking around or out to eat. I would pray to God every night "I can't take it any more" and I'd be okay for a day or so then back to rock bottom I would go. after a while I just started telling the devil to leave me alone, that I wasn't going to let him hold it in my face any longer. and slowly started moving on. Kenny started coming to church off and on for the last year or so with his best friend Mark. a few people at church was like "talk to him, he seems like a nice feller" but I just couldn't let myself take that step. I still had the "what ifs" in the back of my mind. after about 3 months or so Kenny hadn't been back to church for a while and I started thinking about Kenny and wanting to talk to him. but I gave up on it because he hadn't been at church for so long. I thought to myself that I would probably never see him again. but then that all changed, I got to church and was walking up to the door (I never really pay that much attention to who is at church) and not to far from the door was Kenny. the first thing he said was "hi" and we walked in and that was it until after church. he followed me in the tape room at church to talk to me.. which I later found out was to ask for my phone number but chickened out. he followed me around for two weekends where ever I'd go out to eat that's where Kenny would be. I started thinking he likes me and was wishing he'd ask for my number.. come to find out mom ended up giving him my number. she just came out and asked him if he wanted it. of course he said yes.from their it was history, a happy ending to a terrible past two years. even thinking over the things Kenny has told me that has happened in his life. He used to be in the army, he was what is called a paratrooper. a paratrooper jumps out of helicopters several thousand feet in the air. he had orders to be deployed across seas to jump when he finished his training and after his graduation from boot camp. the thing that saved him was a dream someone had in his family. they dreamed that on his first jump he would be killed. about a week before he was to graduate they sent Kenny to the doctors to be checked over (they did this with every one graduating) and come to find out Kenny had a heart mummer and couldn't finish his training and sent him home right away. If it hadn't been for his family praying that God would work it out to where he could come home I might have never met my Husband. it just blows my mind that the things Mitch gave me a hard way to go on such as moving, invitations, colors, and hurting my feelings Kenny had done the complete opposite. He moved, never fussed about what date we wanted to get married on, he was completely fine with the colors I picked and he even lets me have my way on things in the house and how I want things and where I want things. he is truly one of the greatest guys God could have ever blessed me with and I truly don't deserve him but I am so thankful God seen fit to give him to me.

He Knows My Name:
Verse 1
He counts the stars one and all
He knows how much sand is on the shores
He sees every sparrow that falls
He made the mountains and the seas
He's in control of everything
Of all creatures great and small

Chorus
And He knows my name
Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
He knows my name
When I'm overwhelmed by the pain
And can't see the light of day
I know I'll be just fine
'Cause He knows my name

Verse 2
I don't know what tomorrow will bring
I can't tell you what's in store
I don't know a lot of things
I don't have all the answers
To the questions of life
But I know in whom I have believed

Chorus

He knew who I was when He carried my cross
He knew that I would fail Him but He took the loss

Chorus

Every step that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry